Title:
The Second Coming
Author:
Scott Pinsker
Release
date: June 5th, 2014
Genre:
Book
Description:
Two men claim to be the Second Coming of Christ. Eachclaims the other is
Satan in disguise. But only one is telling the truth.
In The SecondComing: A Love Story, the devilish new novel by Scott
Pinsker, the culture warbetween Red America and Blue America turns shockingly
real when two self-declared saviors appear on earth. The first “messiah”
attracts legions of liberal and secular-progressive followers with his message
of New Age brotherhood, quickly becoming the darling of the left. The second
“messiah” preaches fire-and-brimstone traditional Christianity, gaining a
grassroots army of conservative worshippers ready to battle to the death. It’s
finally happened: Red America and Blue America are headed for Armageddon!
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KT6B3G0
Book Excerpt
The only two things Nate Konrad feared were
indifference and anonymity. As America’s preeminent radio personality
and/or loudmouth, he figured out long ago that he who cultivates crowds stays
on the air; he who blends into crowds fades away.
Nate Konrad refused to fade away.
Many moons ago, as a longhaired radical with a
penchant for rabble-rousing, he dropped out of Yale to pursue his dream of
becoming a wacky, irreverent disk jockey. Many moons later, despite
leaving every radio station on rancorous terms (or with litigation pending), he
always landed in a slightly larger market, until Konrad inconceivably emerged
atop the radio food chain.
He began his career by attracting an audience
the easiest way possible: saying outlandish, offensive things, but veiling
these diatribes with just enough witticisms to deflect criticism. Konrad
referred to supermarkets in the inner cities as “Negrocery stores,” and
demanded that pro-life listeners add nine months to their date of birth when
people ask of them their age. He recommended solving the homeless problem
by providing the homeless with complimentary camels—so we could then refer to
them not as “homeless” but as “nomads” (and if that didn’t work, he explained,
the homeless/nomads could eat their camels and at least get a good meal out of
it). When a famous Mexican-American actress was photographed
breastfeeding her baby, Konrad sparked a mini-boycott (and lost the El Pollo Loco
sponsorship) when he called her a “Lactino.” Of course, when anyone took
offense, the longhaired radio rebel would silence the offended by claiming they
“lacked a sense of humor” or “just didn’t get it.” But as his
articulation increased, along with his knowledge of all things political, he
found himself moving steadily to the ideological right. Basically, he
developed the ability to shock the public with ideas rather than insults, and
became one of America’s most trusted—and polarizing—authorities on current
events.
His world view was simple: The government that
governs best governs least; empower the military and police to the utmost
possible; feminists are fat and ugly; and finally, if you don’t love the United
States of America with every inch of your red-blooded heart, then get out of
this country, you ungrateful socialist scumbag.
Tanning salons and Marlboro Reds rendered his
boyish features a thing of the past, replacing the rosy hue of innocence with a
cantankerous scowl and scaly contours. He still donned a shiny leather
jacket and jet-black sunglasses, as if trying to overcompensate for his
advancing age and eight-figure income. All in all, Konrad was desperate
to demonstrate that he’s still the same unpredictable madcap rebel who’s always
ready to humiliate the establishment, despite becoming a corporate icon and
political kingmaker in his own right.
“Greetings across the four corners of
Americana,” growled Konrad through his gold-plated microphone. “I am the
living legend of talk radio, the Deacon of Democracy, the Golden Angel of the
airwaves. My name is Nathan F. Konrad and I can run faster, jump higher,
dive deeper, stay under longer and come up drier than any man, woman, or animal
on God’s green earth. And that’s all before my morning cup of Colombian
coffee! But let’s dispense with the catch-phrases for a moment.
Normally, I don’t allow guests to sit in the booth with me. You see, I
view my radio booth as sacred territory, the birthplace of freedom for modern
America, and I’m careful about corrupting its purity with outsiders. But
for the first hour of today’s program, I’m making an exception. Just like
the rest of you, I’ve been following the nonstop media coverage of the two men,
Joe and Israel, who both claim to be the Second Coming of Jesus Christ—and
perhaps more interestingly, also claim that the other is Lucifer.
“Now, as you know, when these, uh, men first
began appearing on the television dial, I predicted that it was a publicity
stunt of one kind or another and the two, uh, entities were working in
unison. While I still believe such a possibility exists, I’m starting to
hedge my bets. Despite the widespread media coverage, nobody anywhere has
been able to uncover any photos or documents that ‘outs’ them as being human.
Isn’t that strange? One would have expected that a graduation picture, a
birth certificate or even a mug-shot photo might be unearthed. Now, this
dearth of evidence doesn’t necessarily mean that Joe and Israel are actually
God and Satan; the absence of evidence is not necessarily evidence of an
absence. But it does add circumstantial credibility to their
claims.
“But even if they’re both liars, they’ve raised
an interesting question: How do we, as mere humans, differentiate good from
evil? We’re deceived by leftwing evildoers with such regularity—and most
of the time, the lefties aren’t even that smart! Yes, you and I can smell
‘em out, but over 50 percent of our countrymen cannot. So think about it:
If we can’t even fend ourselves from the deceivers of earthly origins, what
prayer do we have against deceivers of unearthly origins?
“And I’m not trying to be an alarmist here, but
let’s face facts: Every election day, millions of Americans vote for
anti-Christian secular progressives. And I’m guesstimating that the
S.P.s’ median age is, oh, maybe 50 to 70. You compare this to Satan
himself, who’s spent thousands of centuries perfecting his message, and you see
that we’re facing a serious experience-gap. Realistically, what hope do
we have?
“To answer these questions, as well as many
more, let us welcome Miss Margaret Magdala—the apostle of the, uh, entity she
believes is the one true Second Coming, Joe. Margaret, I’m glad you could
join us.”
Margaret the Apostle grinned like the Cheshire
Cat. “Thank you, Nathan! I’ve listened to your show for so many
years now—I’m a super-big fan!”
Konrad motioned for the engineer to lower
Margaret’s microphone while scanning through his notepad. “And we’re
delighted as well, Miss Magdala. My opening question for you relates to
my monologue. Assuming that Joe and Israel are both of supernatural
origins, how do you know that you’re following the Son of God and not
Satan? As you may or may not be aware, according to the latest poll
numbers, a greater percentage of Americans believe that Israel is the Second
Coming, and by a wide margin—a whopping 17 percent. What do these numbers
say to you?”
Margaret was unfamiliar with those
statistics. Still, she knew her heart and she knew her faith. “They
say I need to become more forceful at communicating Joe’s message to the
world—and appearing on influential programs such as yours is an important first
step. Joe’s message is perfect, even if my presentation, evidently, is
not. You know Nathan, there’s a reason why Christianity caught on like a
wildfire and spread throughout Europe, the Americas and the entire world,
becoming the dominant religion on the planet. Islam, Judaism, Hinduism…
none of them comes even close to matching the success of Christianity.
And it’s not a coincidence that the greatest scientific achievements of the
past 500 years can all be traced to Christian nations. Christianity
succeeds because Christianity is right! Eventually, Joe’s message will
prevail because his message is truth. Lies are momentary; truth stands
forev—”
Konrad jackhammered his gold-plated pen on his
desk, distracting Margaret.
“Yes, yes,” interrupted the radio icon.
“Of this we are not in conflict. I’m not one of those pandering
relativists who preach that all civilizations are of equal moral worth, for I
believe in the superiority of the American way of life and our Christian system
of values. Take Islam, for example. That religion silences
intellectual debate by labeling free-thinkers as heretics. As a result, I
can’t think of one Muslim philosopher over the past thousand years who’s worth
a damn. Can you?”
Before Margaret could answer, Konrad continued:
“Now, I’m not saying that Islam is of no moral worth—you Arab listeners, don’t
take my statements out of context and start blowing stuff up again.
Sheesh. You people have to learn how to accept criticism
better. I’m simply pointing out that the Islamic faith, as
interpreted by its radicalized Imams, does not promote rigorous debate in an
open marketplace of ideas. As a result, its philosophy has stagnated,
with the majority of Arabs lacking flush-toilets and a military that makes
France look like a nation of Rambo’s.”
Now Konrad was really rolling: “My friends,
I’ve noticed that these Arabs like to declare ‘Holy Wars’ against America,
Israel and Europe. They never actually win these Holy Wars; they
just like declaring Holy Wars. Can you remember the last time an
Arab nation actually defeated a Christian—or even a Jewish—nation? I
think you have to go all the way back to the Ottoman Empire—a kingdom so
pathetic, its name is used to describe furniture we rest our feet atop!
Worst kingdom ever! But while we’re not in conflict on this point,
fair-minded individuals can differ on matters of faith, and in my humble opinion,
therein rests the key dilemma between Joe and Israel: How do we know which of
the two is speaking the word of God and which is deceiving mankind? As
Shakespeare wrote long ago, ‘Even the Devil can quote Scripture for his own
purpose.’”
A bright bulb herself, Margaret decided that
the best way to handle Konrad and convince his audience of her message’s
authenticity was to speak a bit bolder than the host—for while the meek might
inherit the earth, only the assertive wins control of the microphone.
(But just to hedge her bets, she allowed her top blouse button to slip out of
place.)
About
the Author:
A
nationally-recognized marketing expert, Scott Pinsker has worked with a vast
array of sports stars, Grammy-winners and entertainment icons, managing everything
from crisis communications to film properties. His analysis of publicity
trends has been showcased multiple times on FOXNews.com, where he occasionally
contributes as a marketing expert.
Official Website: http://secondcomingishere.com/